A week that looked like a traffic light reflecting off a rainy street at night. There were simple celebrations through subtle integration into the city. It’s hard to be reminded you’re a foreigner every day. The novelty of a new scene began to wear and leave me antsy for branches into Belfast that would breathe life and wholeness. Much to society’s dismay, I am quite poor at living casually, skimming on the top. Instead I arrive with the need to dig my feet in and what some might spot as an uncharted or even awkward enthusiasm for new people. I will go ahead and dismiss accusations of social ineptitude and attribute it to my desire to make a new home for myself. As much as I’d like to be a vagabond, there seems to be an internal push to arrive, unpack, and wave to Alan down the street or something. I want to be impressed upon by Belfast, to leave unscathed would be to miss the whole point. Hopefully in some way it will bear just one of my small fingerprints, too. In little strands, God delivered refreshment and connectivity.
When I was in Milwaukee, Morning Star made the city a home for me; in London it was Hillsong. I suppose it’s no surprise that my church here is doing the same, constructing a wee tent for me to live under. It’s always about people. After shuffling from YWAM function to YWAM function for five weeks, I stepped foot into warm, decorated, clean and unaffiliated flats filled- though not over capacity- with lovely City Church goers. Hooray, hazaa there’s life outside the organization! What’s that, there’s a chair for just me to sit on, delightful. Rejoicing in small victories is the name of the game. With personal space temporarily reinstated, I got to meander in conversation and hear stories. Gorgeous. The glory of the week only heightens from there. I saw a film with friends… in a movie theater! The film was a disaster, but for some strange reason it gave me the strongest sensation of normalcy that I needed. I got to sit with friends for hours at a time and hash out lives and be quiet when answers were not there. It’s a gorgeous thing to have time and space and people to sit with. These were blazing moments. And now, let me make public confession. It seems that whence removed from one’s home environment, true colors are made apparent and it was made apparent how shallow and desperate I really am. I went to Starbucks. And it elated my soul. Christmas music and peppermint hot chocolate and red holiday cups, oh Starbucks you’re such a siren. These moments are indicative of a niche being formed. Whatever, I like it here. Please don’t judge me.
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Forgiveness Week
Many moons ago, 25 years or 9125 moons to be specific, a Dr. Bob Enwright began research on the concept of forgiveness and its effect within conflict areas. With Belfast as his subject, he found that those on the “forgiveness journey” had greater psychological health and were better able to re-integrate into society compared to a control group. YWAM Belfast’s Forgiveness Team took Dr. Enwright’s dissertation and created a curriculum that they present to local schools all over the country, other nations of conflict, and one fateful week, to our DTS. In attempts to share the magic that was, I will now plagiarize the masterful ideas of others.
It was a week laced in great compassion for the human story, validating each individual wound, and embracing each situation’s complexity. We didn’t proceed an inch without laying a foundation of humanity; every person- regardless of station, belief, or action- is indeed human and entitled to dignity and love. Forgiveness is essential to these elements. Forgiveness is learning how to remember the past from a different lens, where hurt and anger do not dictate. Journey is key, it is a process of no particular time frame. No graph exists measuring time versus intensity of wound inflicted. The forgiveness journey actually engages a person where he or she lies and allows them to stand still or slowly walks forward. It’s all a bit abstract, but at the same time, everyone had tasted these ideas in real life.
And now from my mind to yours, the famed steps: Step One) Acknowledge anger. Two) Decide not to take revenge but decide to forgive. Three) Look at the bigger picture, examine the sides, and accept a shared humanity. Four) Change feelings and digest empathy. Five) Live from your best self.
Healthy anger and acknowledgement of injustice are essential to dealing with hurt. Here is the origin of healing. People need to tell their story of hurt many times over and need to be heard many times over. Revenge- regardless of how intense, how passive, or how active- cinches a person’s humanity and the instigator becomes the personification of the act he or she committed. Even more, bitterness begins to chip away at a wounded person’s soul, and their hurt can steer thoughts and actions. Revenge is enslavement for all parties involved. Forgiveness is freedom. Most of us have issues never tapped, never expressed that knowingly or not drive us to some degree. This is not to say that forgiveness is- gasp- the obvious or easy option. Most likely, forgiveness is the least satisfactory avenue possible, but again, it’s a process with which one chooses to engage. After time and storytelling, questions and dialogue, an imperfect but wider view of a situation emerges and allows a person to let go. Conclusions of culpability are not revised, but instead you gather every memory, every tear, every degree of hurt, hold it with the other side of the story, and let go. From there, a healing person is allowed to retake their life, to live in abundance and out of who they were meant to be. Except everything is messier, longer, and harder. But you get the idea.
We went into St. Louise’s College, a Catholic high school on the Falls Road, to present the idea of forgiveness journey to classes of 16 and 17 year old girls. It was nothing but riveting, posing thoughts and questions that some of them had never thought about. Does every human deserve love? What about murderers? What about terrorists? They discussed division and how to deal with people who have hurt them. A few moments just blew me away. One blonde haired girl piped up to explain how people aren’t bad or good because their Catholic or Protestant but because of their actions. She went on to share that her uncle was betrayed and killed by a Protestant friend, but she can’t rule out every Protestant just because of that. Incredible.
Theory became personal as we used our own hurts to understand the journey. Art, expression, dialogue, and prayer unearthed the sediment of latent feelings and took it out by the roots. Their gentle words of truth touched wiry wounds and I went home crawling each day. But I needed it then, my heart exists in a lighter state now. It’s a lesson I put in my pocket ready for the inevitable; whether to hand out in hope of my own absolution or to recall when the next abrasion arrives.
It was a week laced in great compassion for the human story, validating each individual wound, and embracing each situation’s complexity. We didn’t proceed an inch without laying a foundation of humanity; every person- regardless of station, belief, or action- is indeed human and entitled to dignity and love. Forgiveness is essential to these elements. Forgiveness is learning how to remember the past from a different lens, where hurt and anger do not dictate. Journey is key, it is a process of no particular time frame. No graph exists measuring time versus intensity of wound inflicted. The forgiveness journey actually engages a person where he or she lies and allows them to stand still or slowly walks forward. It’s all a bit abstract, but at the same time, everyone had tasted these ideas in real life.
And now from my mind to yours, the famed steps: Step One) Acknowledge anger. Two) Decide not to take revenge but decide to forgive. Three) Look at the bigger picture, examine the sides, and accept a shared humanity. Four) Change feelings and digest empathy. Five) Live from your best self.
Healthy anger and acknowledgement of injustice are essential to dealing with hurt. Here is the origin of healing. People need to tell their story of hurt many times over and need to be heard many times over. Revenge- regardless of how intense, how passive, or how active- cinches a person’s humanity and the instigator becomes the personification of the act he or she committed. Even more, bitterness begins to chip away at a wounded person’s soul, and their hurt can steer thoughts and actions. Revenge is enslavement for all parties involved. Forgiveness is freedom. Most of us have issues never tapped, never expressed that knowingly or not drive us to some degree. This is not to say that forgiveness is- gasp- the obvious or easy option. Most likely, forgiveness is the least satisfactory avenue possible, but again, it’s a process with which one chooses to engage. After time and storytelling, questions and dialogue, an imperfect but wider view of a situation emerges and allows a person to let go. Conclusions of culpability are not revised, but instead you gather every memory, every tear, every degree of hurt, hold it with the other side of the story, and let go. From there, a healing person is allowed to retake their life, to live in abundance and out of who they were meant to be. Except everything is messier, longer, and harder. But you get the idea.
We went into St. Louise’s College, a Catholic high school on the Falls Road, to present the idea of forgiveness journey to classes of 16 and 17 year old girls. It was nothing but riveting, posing thoughts and questions that some of them had never thought about. Does every human deserve love? What about murderers? What about terrorists? They discussed division and how to deal with people who have hurt them. A few moments just blew me away. One blonde haired girl piped up to explain how people aren’t bad or good because their Catholic or Protestant but because of their actions. She went on to share that her uncle was betrayed and killed by a Protestant friend, but she can’t rule out every Protestant just because of that. Incredible.
Theory became personal as we used our own hurts to understand the journey. Art, expression, dialogue, and prayer unearthed the sediment of latent feelings and took it out by the roots. Their gentle words of truth touched wiry wounds and I went home crawling each day. But I needed it then, my heart exists in a lighter state now. It’s a lesson I put in my pocket ready for the inevitable; whether to hand out in hope of my own absolution or to recall when the next abrasion arrives.
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